Thursday, 27 September 2007

So today...

...I have been feeling inspired. And sad. Today was Lee's fathers funeral. I totally feel for him, Kev went off this morning at 9am to drive over to Surrey which was where his funeral was. He said Lee seemed to hold it all together until afterwards when he was looking at the flowers. I just know how today feels for anyone who has lost a parent. It really is OVER. They really have gone. There is nothing of them anymore. And of course people now start to forget. However, us as children do not. Someone once said to me that it gets easier with time. It doesn't. I won't lie. It NEVER gets easier. We just learn to cope better with the loss. We come to terms with it. But there are days when it feels like such a wrench, the same as the day they actually died.

It makes me think of mum. It makes me wonder if there is something after this life. I am not particularly religious but I have been known to visit a few psychics and clairvoyants. I said the last time that I wouldn't again. I've visited the 'duds', the ones who are fishing for info. But i've also visited a few that were truly amazing. They just looked at you and told you stuff that NO ONE ever knew but you. Your feelings right then. And your whole past. The last one read my tea leaves and made me cry so much, I just knew she would be the last. I had satisfied my curiousity for there must be more... How else would she know such stuff without having someone else tell her, someone who wasn't here? How could she look into my tea cup (rather Harry Potter ~ Madame Trelawny-esque) and tell me stuff no one knew. To tell me I had my mums old diaries and she wanted me to read them; something I had fought with myself over in those weeks. How did she know about the lilies I took for the nurses who cared for mum simply because I love lillies and knew mum hated them and would never of wanted them. How did she know that when I sat with mum that Tuesday night both Jill and I heard things that make my hairs stand on end. No one knew this stuff. No one knew the funny stuff she told me about me and mum too. I know there must be more. I don't know what but I live in hope that she is at peace and no longer in pain.

And for Lee. I truly am thinking of him. It will be hard but i'm sure he will be ok. He has wonderful friends around him who all love and care for him. xxx

And now for inspiration~ I got Ali E's zine today. Wow. It inspires me. This one talks about teaching people what you know. Sharing our creativity... so I think on Sunday I will do a post about my doodles. It's gonna be simple and easy to make. All you'll need is a piece of bazzill/plain cardstock, a great pen that you love (any colour and any make, as long as you love it!) and a photo of someone special whom you love ~ your hubbie or other half/kids/pets/sister/mum... anyone. It's gonna be a little project of about 6x6 inches so only have a 2x4 inch piccie...! The point is gonna be to have fun. So come and play!!!
And this girlie is the absolute best today. Check out her newly uploaded 'this is me' journal quote page. Cool. Hoping my album is half as good as hers.

1 comment:

michelle said...

I am sorry about your loss. I couldn't imagine what it must feel like to lose a parent. As for the psychics, I think there are people who have the power and there are people who just exploit peoples' sadness and weaknesses. I haven't gone to one, but that's always been on my list.