Thursday, 31 January 2008


Will you kind girlies tell me about the kits you subscribe to or where you buy your goodies from???

I want to find some goodness. The quirkier the better.

Thank you!

Take Note...

I have had this fabric paper for ages now. It's been sat all lonely in a little sealed cello bag and unused, until now. I know it's hardly the 'right' design for a note book, as it's not going to be an art notebook at all. But I love it and I hardly ever use red on LO's. I just can't make red work. And it's hard wearing, cute and will remind me (partly) why i'm working... to buy cute art and scrapping supplies.
My poor little BIA was used again. she doesn't like the chipboard I have, it's super thick and she doesn't like it one bit. She doesn't like fabric paper either. She has a tough life.

And so Kev has an open evening tonight, so it's me and the kiddos all day. Surprisingly today, they are playing fairly nicely together. We've had two fights over a cardboard box (yes, all the toys they have and they bicker over a box) !

The weatherman says we're going to have snow storms this weekend. Really?? I hope not. I hate it when it snows, well ok not when it snows just when it's either the mushy slushy brown slop afterwards OR the deathly ice cause someones trod it all in and overnight it's frozen. You can guarantee i'm the one who slips over. I hear you all laughing already ;)

Wednesday, 30 January 2008


I just got that call.

And yes, I got the job! I start on Friday night...! I'm h-a-p-p-y! I have 54 hours in this first month... and then can add more if I want, although i'm just waiting to see how it all goes. And how Emily and Ben take it all.

Now off to make a funky notebook to put all my 'new job' notes in and behave like a proper scrapper.

Thank you for all of you who have wished me luck and kept those fingers crossed, it paid off!

Tuesday, 29 January 2008


I will know tomorrow morning.

It is a good thing when you 'click' with someone tho, I kinda think that's always good at an interview. When you actually get along. So I will be waiting tomorrow by the phone and my email account.

(and the swotting was for nothing again because she seemed really happy with just knowing about me, rather than picking my brains on those care standards) ~ hooray!)

And.... I am excited because i'm here!

Monday, 28 January 2008

Everything crossed.

I have just this minute had a phone call.

It's the one I was hoping for.

It's not the best of best news... but it's a start.

I have a second interview tomorrow at 10am!

So keep EVERYTHING crossed for me. I want this job so much. I need this job so much. For me, for us as a family, for the money and just for the sake of actually making the most of my life. Which sounds weird but after 4 years of being 'mum'. I am NOT making out being a SAHM isn't important but I just want some more!! And I think this job is the job I want.

So think of me tomorrow. I will be nervous. I will be stressed. I know how much I panic over little things and this is a biggie for me. I am waffling so I know i'm already nervous. I am off now to work out and read the 27 minimum care standards. Yes, I know. Keen. Well I am.

Lots of things...

I have been creating and making these beauties... (i'm not sure that my mojo is bad but it appears that stress helps me to create.)

I'm not sure about this one... I think its the cardstock I don't like that much... and the fact its SO empty. hmmm. Oh well. No one said making was an exact science.

This piccie makes me laugh, Sandra said the one of Kev made her laugh more. (a few posts back) and how dis-interested he seemed with Emily leaping around like a wild beast. She is sad the x-factor has ended. She had even learnt how to write 'x's' in homage to the show. Ha ha. This little mite now is learning her ABC's and thinks X is for x-factor :)

I did this one (above) sat in front of the news that the Southern states in American were voting on their presidency. I don't understand it all, politics has never been my forte but I can't help thinking about how westernised the Country is, yet how stuck in the past they are. And of course it was Martin Luther King day a week ago too.

You can't quiet see how raised and textured it is. I have got back into 3D foam. I have rolls of the stuff and now am using it all on LO's. With this one the cardstock frame is raised on 3D foam, this stickers around the edge and then there are heaps of brads, buttons, sparkles, chipboard and felt jiust adding to the whole LO.

My sister amazes me. I spoke to her last night and we laughed, as usual. No matter how stressful life gets and how much stuff happens we still laugh. Which is important to a good friendship. We are more than just sisters. I wanted to use this LO to express how I feel about her. All the little buttons, gems, sparklies and everything yummy on here I guess represents how sparkly and special she is. I have a huge letter to her to go onto the back which says so much stuff about our lives during our childhoods and now. I just wanted to let her know how much I love her.

I have had news about the job. I got in touch with them this morning, just because I couldn't wait any longer. I know I thought I would wait until the afternoon BUT you know how impatient I am. When I have set my mind to something I want I just do nothing but think about it. I eat, sleep and breathe the whole thing. And so thats what i've been doing, hence the stress and hence the amount of LO's! (stress can be a good thing!). SOOoooooo! She has another interview this week. She will let me know on Friday.... Fingers crossed for Friday because I do want this job.

Crop went well! We all had a good natter... I think it's sometimes why alot of us scrapbook. It's a social thing too... We talk to like minded women, well usually women. So we set the world to rights yesterday. We all nattered about life, our Crimbo's, stash and the usual chatter. I made a yummy choccie cake, that I think went down well?!! And I managed to get one LO finished and started another.

Right-e-o. Gotta get some stuff done and feed my two kiddo's!

Friday, 25 January 2008

No news is good news, right?

...except I think it's bad news. I've had no call at all about the job I went for on Tuesday. I guess that the mail today will tell all, maybe a letter saying i've been unsuccesful? But if not and I receive no call today; i'm taking it that I didn't get the job.
It obviously wasn't meant to be. There will be something else more suitable right round the corner... I hope.

Any CHA sneeky peeks taking your fancy?? None have really been screaming to me that I want to buy them. Except maybe the bo bunny xtreme teen... except the whole 'xtreme' thingie just makes me cringe. But I spotted the skulls and I love skulls. Maybe the heidi swapp pink hearts paper ~ it looks cute... But I'm waiting and holding out for Hambly. There hasn't been anything of theres I haven't liked or used (ok, I do have a sheet of orange sparkly dandelion paper but that is just TOO gorgeous to use)... I just love them. They just have the best products, the quality is super, super special and I just think they are funky and up to date. I shall be waiting eagerly for their releases.

Thursday, 24 January 2008

Today is a completely brand spankin' new day!

After the misery I felt yesterday, I know today is the day you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get on with life.

Last night I went to crop. I just love chatting and thats all I did. I hadn't seen Nina since before Christmas and so I nattered, told her about Ben. We both had a little cry about stuff in our lives and just generally did no scrapping at all. Not that it really bothered me that I didn't scrap, sometimes it's just good to talk, vent and have a pair of fresh eyes look on your problems (and to hear others and then you realise your problems are pretty insignificant)... It was good to catch up and just to have someone understand where I was coming from. Thank you ~ and sorry for stealing your precious scrapping time!!!

There was also the 'stamping-up' stuff there, I can't say i'm overly excited by it all. I just am pretty much over wooden mounted stamps. They take up too much room. You can't wash them with soap and water and they are much more costly than acrylic ones. I also find the wooden mounted ones are often more for card makers than scrappers. Don't get me wrong I could've easily spent loads... and they had some fabby papers... BUT I can't say I really, really, really wanted them.

Jane also came with a little surprise:

Thank you!!! I love them! I plan to try and do something with them when I put Benji to bed this afto!

And then crop ended. I had manged to matt one photo and stick it onto a LO, in pre to title it, embellie it and allsorts. But not a chance! I had a fab time though.

And today.... we haven't done much. I am busy trying to keep the house tidy around Ben, who is hell-bent on destroying our lounge. Every toy has to be out at least four times a day... I spend the whole day picking up 100 wooden blocks, book, figures, rupert bear, trucks, cars, postman pat etc... I makes me think my kiddo's need less toys!

And for those lovely, kind comments about the house book... here is two pieces from the inside:

Books: We have SO many. We have three huge huge 7ft ish bookcases that are full and a smaller one in Emily's room thats full to bursting! I love books. Any book too. I'm glad the kiddo's both have a love of books as well. I just wish Kev shared our enthusiasm instead of moaning about the books that clutter our lovely home!

And this. Emily has an obsession with this purple heffalump. Aka. Lumpy. She loves him. And so each birthday, Crimbo, Easter, Valentines she has had a new one to add to her collection. We have an enermous amount of these purple things. Ranging from huge to tiny. She has them all in her bed, there is little room for herself but she loves them all... Lumpy is apart of our family.

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

In Memory.

Today is always hard.

Today is 6 years since this fantanstic, fabby, inspirational woman passed away. I miss her so much, you know I miss just being able to pick the phone up and give her a call and know that she was always there to listen to me, however trivial the convo. I miss her sense of humour. I miss her craziness. I am sad that she never got to see me grow, that she never met Kev or met Emily and Ben. And I am sad that they never got to know their Grom.

On this day 6 years ago we had just nipped home to change our clothes after staying all night with her in the hospital. It was like she waited for us to go. And then we got the call. We went back and I saw her. And in some weird way (and it does sound so strange) she was still there. She was no longer fighting to breathe, she was no longer in pain or struggling to live. She was at peace. And you know, as harsh as it is, It's what I wanted. Peace. For anyone who has been in the situation where you see a loved one become not even themself any more, you kinda wish they would go. After 8 days of extreme pain and restlessness for her in hosiptal and months and months of pain and years of treatment before I felt willingly to let her go. My eldest sister could not comprehend my feelings but then she did not live with her or stay with her through all of this. Seeing someone you love so confused, in so much pain, fighting a gianormous battle everyday to cling onto life when her body needed to go was too much to take for her and everyone around her. The decision to let her go, along with her consultants, doctors and nurses was a hard one but the best. And so on Wednesday morning at 9:20am she let go. She was still in that room when I went to see her. As if she waited for us. It was the weirdest feeling in the world.
I saw her later in the chapel of rest and that was stranger still. She had gone. It was her body, she looked famliar like I knew her but there was no one there. I guess that really ended her. When she died she was still there. But seeing her then, she just sort of ceased being anymore. She was gone. And in six long years it doesn't get easier. It gets easier to cope with, to deal woth and to manage but I still miss her as if she went yesterday. I still feel angry about how much she missed out on.

But I am happy too. I'm happy that with loss comes new chapters in your life. That chapter was this beautiful lady.

She has always been special but when mum died she became extra special. She and I really grew together and I guess we quit being sisters and became best friends. And although I think that no one will understand me as much as my mum. She is my rock, my inspiration, my sounding board and most of all so special to me.

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Fingers crossed.

I had a secret. I was going to keep it all hush, hush because I just don't want to get my hopes up at all... I went for a job interview today. Last night I nearly cancelled the whole thing. I just went into a panic mode and couldn't remember any of the 27 minimum care standards, any issues with community care and felt I had no care management skills what-so-ever. I guess being out of work for 4 years and being a SAHM has done that to me and not that being a SAHM isn't the most IMORTANT job in the whole wide world but I need to do more, I need to get out and most of all I need the money and the freedom it will bring.

So today we got up early and I went off for my interview. There were only two applicants that were being interviewed. Me and another. She had the appointment before mine and didn't show up. Does this work in my favour???

So after all the problems with childcare issues _ we have an enormous amount of issues there. And not being able to pay a childminder who, quiet rightly would want at least £240 a week to have my two... It seems to be ok. the hours seem suitable, the people seem nice and most of all the job sounds challenging and something brand spanking new for me to get on with... And so she gave me the hours sheet... is that a good sign? She told me the hourly rate and that during the training period it would be half of the intial rate. She told me that its 21 days per year holiday AND an additional days because we are expected to work bank holidays... She told me that her supervisor may wish to interview me and run through manual handling with me.... Is all this sounding good???

Oh, I hate this. I've been out of the job circuit for SOOO long it just seems so hard to read things now. She said she would call me either tomorrow or Thursday. I guess if she does it means i've been sucessful.

Fingers crossed.

I have also been shortlisted for an assitant health visitor position too... hooray!

p.s. I will photograph the inside of my house tomorrow when I actually have some daylight.

Monday, 21 January 2008

Basildon crop kit!

Here is our project for this month.

It's a little bind it all gatefold house which was inspired by a SiS here . Isn't it adorable?
The kit will be £1 which is for the wires and the chipboard base. You will need to bring along 4/5 sheets of 12"x12" cardstock or heavy weight pp (a mixture of both is best), embellies, ribbon etc... And most improtantly 10 photos which are taken from around your house of things that either fill your house with love, you use everyday or just things that make your house your home!

Sunday, 20 January 2008

Southend Crop...

I had a fab time. 11 hours cropping and a calvery meal too. It was bliss. I just love having the time to spread out and just go along as I please. And of course, I usually spend far too much time chatting than I do scrapping. AND I won third prize in the raffle... yes! I know I am always winning raffles (I win the Wickford crop one everytime i've been) SO, I would give up all my crop wins for one big win on the lotto... (don't ask for much do I???) Ha, ha.

So I got Morgan's CJ done, all it needs to be done is wrapped, packaged and posted to Michelle. I got the Basildon crop kit (kinda cause we are using our onw stash this time, apart from wires and chipboard shape) finished and I managed a 12"x12" page... I started another but it was 9pm! Time to go home...

And so we have a busy week this one. I am out all day Tuesday and it's Kev's birthday. Then on Wednesday it's the Wickford crop and on Sunday it's my crop at Basildon. So... i'm going to be busy. I also have alot of little jobs to do and the boring one (housework).

I will post piccies tomorrow as I have been banished upstairs as Kev went straight onto the x-box when I came in, some welcome huh??? Not so much as two words, other than the kids have moaned all day (yes, they do) and both had eaten all their lunches and teas. Not so much of a hello, have a nice time, men!!

Friday, 18 January 2008

Mail good~ness.

I got this today. I have so many cool ideas to go into it. I cannot wait to begin... I am thinking hard though about the pp that will reflect my music tastes, I guess they are so weird. But I am going to the Southend crop on Sunday and so I will have the whole time there to think about it and create a page for Morgan's CJ. I love it!

Boys are lazy.

This is how I often find Ben when I go back into our lounge. Yes, he can climb. He thinks it's the best-est fun to climb on the sofa and laze about... When I go in though he starts bouncing on his knees and I worry he'll fall off; so I rush over and in a panic which he finds hysterical. As you can tell. I think he is well and truly back to his old self now. And although the whole climbing thing worries me half to death that he's gonna fall and have the biggest bumps BUT i'm glad and greatful that he's better. He's his usual happy, cheeky and lazy self.

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Ok, don't laugh...

This is my first ever try at a LO. It's A4 size (just incase I thought it was SO fab and had to print it out, which I don't and I won't be printing it out) But I loved the paper and the font. The buttons don't look real enough for my liking, I tried drop shadows and all that but they still look flat. I guess thats how digi is tho. And I wanted to get rid of the horrid, hiddeous hospital curtain in the piccie ~ but didn't know how to blur it out... so I guess there are lots of areas to improve in BUT I did it. I did a whole digi LO on my own. No help what-so-ever. Proud, yes I am. Excited, yes... it's opening up a whole new world to me...

I have been busy. Besides watching CSI last night (and Las Vegas is my absolute fave) I was playing in photoshop. I can't believe how simple it is to work out when you get your head around the 'layer' thing and stuff. I can't work out how to do somethings (like blur the background but not the person) I will have to dig out my CK computer tricks book (they are making a volume 2 of this which I shall 'need'!) or beg Leslie to ask her clever hubbie... :lol: But my photoshop skills have gone up 100% in two nights.

I'm not sure about how 'real' a LO looks when it's digi. I know Kate Hadfield can make digi LO's look super amazing. I am trying to work out if I scan in objects eg. buttons, would I be able to use them as elements on a LO? And the same goes for fabric too. I have some cute fabrics that I wanna put on this banner. I also have some funky robots too (!) and skulls and oooooh I just realised. i'm digi addicted.

Tuesday, 15 January 2008


Did you see us in SI magazine this month? Well, we were there. All thanks to Rosie who is fab. I want to say a huge thank you to her for adding us...

So the phone has rang off the hook today, it's made me smile! Talking to lots of ladies with a thirst for scrapping is fab. It just makes me realise it's not me in my little bubble who just loves paper ;)

And so. It's late this month because after one thing and another it's almost the end of January already. It's nearly crop time.

Crop is the 27th of January 2008, 10am - 5pm and we're at Luncies Hall. You can email me for more details if you are interested in joining us. We love to welcome newbies. I am working on the project as we speak and I will post it up here soon. As I always say, projects are optional. You are more than welcome to come along and free scrap! And of course bring your albums to show us... we love being nosey!

Monday, 14 January 2008

I got it! (kinda!)

Don't ask me how... but I did (well, actually Kev showed me how to download these free digi elements from two peas) and now i'm waiting for the stuff I brought 'cause I was so pleased that techno~phobe me managed to use it!! I brought robots *wub*!) I'm about to burst with pride, from this little little milestone in the form of digi scrapping. (I will say again, no way am I giving up paper!) But just look!

This technique was in CK, although I did it without looking at the magazine and used the free digi frame I downloaded this evening... The piccie isn't the best to go with the frame BUT you get the idea. How it will look when I go out and seek some cool, funky autumn frames... *wub*

And this was so simple!!! (ok, once I knew how!)

I think I just love this altering, photoshop thingie... even though it totally baffles me.

p.s. I did manage to download a ton of fonts too... I even got spiderpig in dingbats for Emily. (She is crazy, mad for spiderpig atm) Check out 'carnevalee freakshow' on Da Font... Super funky.

Photoshop, digi scrapping and yummy-ness.

Firstly, Ben is on the mend. We are cutting teeth atm and getting over the sickness bug and finally I think his cough has gone. It has been replaced by him being my limpet though. He has taken to being v.tearful at night now and not very settled, last night was the first he didn't wake at all. Lets hope it continues, cause otherwise we have a tired unhappy little man everyday who is no fun. Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers and kind words... and for those of you who have seen me... Sorry for the blubbing. x

I made this on Saturday night while I had a crime-fest. CSI and Law and Order. It was using all scraps, except the base sheet of pp. A piccie I had wanted to scrap for a long while now and just a few hours later it came to this. I think atm my LO's take on lives of their own. They just become what they are, rather than me having the idea and it turning out exactly like that... You can't see there is lots of handstiching (rather machine like tho) on there and it's holding a piece of embossed vellum which actually covered the photograph. It's embossed with the cutest little bows and dots. It's very, very pretty. I felt awful cutting it but then did think otherwise it would be rotting away in a box somewhere... never to be seen. If you read the post on about 'that paper', where for years she's saved these expensive papers. Never dared use them because they were 'too precious' or 'too special'... well now she won't use them because they are too out of date, too hideous... I guess thats what made me chop it up (I actually am making it sound way worse than it is, I just took a crumpled edge off... less than a centimetre... it felt like I was chopping it, ok?) I've had this mentality since i've been stash dieting (June 2007) I've used old stash, 'precious' stash and i've felt really, really empowered (which sounds way over the top) but I have. So in any case that vellum is from the actually time the pic was taken. It's old. If you click on it you do get to see it in more detail, the title shows up better too... Check out my Uncle's haircut! Ha, ha!

I have gone back to looking at digi stuff on two peas. I Like the idea of not actually quitting paper scrapping *gasp* how could I consider it? ha ha. No. Just using the digi stuff, printing it out onto transparencies and paper and using it then. Two peas has some FABBY stuff but seens as I don't even understnad how to use it and open it once it's downloaded... I am gonna wait til Kev comes home.

I have been browsing Da Font too. Isn't finding funky cool fonts the best? I've found 25 I need NOW and lots more i'd like but know i'll never use. And so, seens as I can't do downloading... I don't understand where they get stored to and I have to move them to... It's another job for Kev.

Emily spent alittle more Crimbo money at the weekend too. She decided upon the Charlie and Lola DVD. We have watched it around 10 times now... I love Charlie and Lola but it ia getting alittle too much atm. Still she is absolutely loving it. It is her favourite and her best...

I got this book too, in the amazon sale. It's not really a reading book. It's a picture book with a little heart-felt reading. This guy cuts it all from paper. It's pretty neat.

And I cannot work my photoshop! I so want to be able to really use it. REALLY use all of it rather than just doing tiny photo jobs on there. I know it can do so much more. My mission is to learn alittle more about it... as hard as that may be. I think i'm a techno dummy. Thats why I think digi will be good for me in the way i'd learn boring photoshop stuff while doing something creative and lurverllllly....

Still job hunting. Still being drove insane with it all.

Friday, 11 January 2008


Something I am working on... (before I moan)...

Today I have:

1 Scrubbed a rug twice (and it still pongs)

2 Applied for countless jobs

3 Call countless jobs

4 Sent my CV off for countless jobs

5 Spent time *WISHING* I could go here because I SOOOOO want to see my scrapping idol in the flesh (sounds kinda stalker-ish when I put it like that, doesn't it?) But unfortunately due to the facts above (see 2, 3 and 4) I can't go. BOO. Here's to hoping she will come over to the UK again and teach such a wonderful class.

That is unless someone waves a magic wand and I either a) win the lottery, b) get a job in time to save or c) someone is extra kind.

(Jobs. Why is it (and I have been looking for ages now) that nothing fits with our childcare... OR its already gone OR they don't bother to even consider you. I know i'm capable. It's just getting the opportunity to show someone else I am. BK (before kiddos) I was always lucky with jobs. Always had one or had a temp one or knew of one... I guess my job luck has run out on me. I am tired of sending off my CV to jobs I don't really, really want and getting no reply. Today I have hit send so, so many times and well... who knows. Gotta keep positive about these things but some how, I just don't expect anything super-dooper to come up any time soon. And that is driving me insane.)

Thursday, 10 January 2008

Stepford Wives

I got this paper from when I went to the Enfield crop back in December. I just never realised MM did such gorgeous paper... I used the last of my light blue thickers (well, ok not the last but butchered some to make the title and the letters I have left will make nothing but a 'zzzzzz' LO... ) It looks better in rl, as I can't seem to get a close up thats not all blurry of the fab-a-rooney brass charms stiched onto the lace trim. The pic was of Em at Crimbo 2005, just before we found out I was preg with Ben...

I've scrapped this pic before. I know. It seems wasted scrapping it again. But the whole piccie says so many things to me... and I wanted to use this paper and the wooden letters, that i'd brought ages ago and just forgot I had. You can't see well but the heart is raised and stiched round in blanket stitching...

This makes me giggle. Emily drew this back in October. I don't know where she got the idea from. All of a sudden she comes up and thrusts this piccie to me. 'it's a whale mummmmmmmy...!' And sure enough it does kinda look like a whale. A whale with legs. I wanted to scrap this to actually have something in an album, rather than a box tucked away somewhere. To say how proud I am that I think she's gonna take after me and like 'making' as she calls it. I found these kits today. Yum. These are just MY scrapping thing. And I remembered how much I love SiStv. Whenever I go onto that site I remember why I love scrapping and feel all inspired. UKS doesn't do it for me now in that way :( There are some super fabby peeps on UKS but I feel that my sort of scrapping just gets lost there. Ever feel that? That no one gets what really gets me going??? And I know that a few UKS'er think that SiStv is 'Stepford Wives' HA HA, that makes me laugh so much. It just isn't. But if i'm on there often... does that class me as a Stepford Wife??? (ROFL)

More Random~ness. More TMI.

This was Emily, Kev's mum and Eloise on Crimbo day. It's a naff photo, more of a snap BUT it just shows how much fun my little ladybird had. And what makes me crack up is they were dancing to one of those cheesey plastic singing ducks... which Emily makes a bee-line for the minute she gets into her Nans.

We're still under quarantine, or ought to be. Kev has parents evening tonight and so he is most probably going to inflict all our germs on them. Ben did the most magnificent (if it can ever be that) puke last night. I think there wasn't much in our lounge it didn't touch. The rug was awash and so our house has that floral puke smell today. Ha ha. It sounds worse than it is.

I did manage some scrapping last night ~ which i'm fairly shocked by. I just can't seem to finish anything atm (or start, for that matter) I tried and i'm not sure I suceeded in anything spectacular but I just needed an evening of free creativity and a break from mopping up... yes back to that again, sorry... I will post pics later, once i've taken them...

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Catch up. (and tmi) And randomness.

Random pics i've not had time to share...

I'm sure Emily has my mums 'mad' gene. Mad, as in she wants to dress up the whole time. Her alter~ego today was kitty cat.

This boy is well and truly on the mend and back into touching... Nan's house is no longer safe... Didn't he look super cute on Crimbo day??

These have finally gone to Santa. We had a few tears but not nearly as many as i'd expected. AND we have only asked for them once... I'm so proud of her. (bear in mind she has Ben flaunting his wooooooo-dies in her face all the time)

But she was impressed that Santa ex changed said wooodies for Charlie and Lola loot. It has been her 'completely best' present (or one of a long list).

This boy just didn't get what all the hype was about...

I have been playing catch up all day. It's already Tuesday and I haven't started my jobs for this week yet. On Sunday night I felt really ill and schulked off to bed earlier than normal and felt like I was going to die... no exagerration. I worshipped the porcelaine god all night long and the majority of Monday morning. I felt as rough as a badgers bum. I called Kev, who had gone to work (!) and he came home. I slept all day between loo visiting sessions. bllllleuurrgggh. I hate being ill.

I managed to go downstairs and slowly put Ben and Em to bed then go back and being a dying fly and fell alseep by 9pm. I don't think i've ever slept for as long.

So today, I still feel rather bagders bum-ish... but i'm on the mend.

And I have a huge L-O-N-G list of stuff to do. And I am well and truly fed up of chasing up stuff and relying on peeps who aren't reliable. Such as: people actually paying you for a job you did in September, filling in a tax return, housework (which can always wait), a mountain of washing... an enormous amount of scrapping (except Kev has hidden the printer cable... ), letter printing (again, no printer cable! GRR) and heaps more jobs which involve actually getting out of the house and visiting/collecting things. And so this list is growing.

Wanna know what Santa brought me... A BIA! a sewing machine, perfume, chocs, a v.v.v. hillarious calendar of Russell 'mouse' Brand and a heap of alcoholic goodies and smellies... Thank you Santa, it appears I had been a very good girl this year. x

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

365 + 1

Ok. Don't laugh. Me in pictures is never great. Self portraits are even worse, esp. when you're sleep deprived and have no make up on at all...

PROMPT : 'A day without laughter is a day wasted ~ Charlie Chaplin'

PROMPT : 'I´m gonna make a change, For once in my life. It´s gonna feel real good. Gonna make a difference. Gonna make it right. I'm starting with the man in the mirror ~ Michael Jackson'

And these aren't in anything yet, other than here because my book is still in the 'creative process' ... I plan to keep it simple. All black and white prints, all black and white paper, all black pen journo'ing and doodling. Simple and just how it is. And i'm doing it as a mini book each month... Sound ok?

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for all the lovely e.mails and messages here I have been sent. It means alot when I get them at happy times. It has meant SO much more when i've gotten them now.

Ben is ok, he was still very very wheezey and coughing at night but I did get some sleep from about 2am til 4am so I am kinda feeling alot more rested than previous mornings. Yesterday he slept for much of the day and luckily Emily was good, I think it has totally scared her too. She watched alot of tv yesterday and enjoyed Mary Poppins for the first time. He diesn't seem any brighter today but fingers crossed he will pick up. He's still extra sleepy and floppy and just wants to lie on me. I think i've held him more now than I did when he was a bubba...

I am doing this, although have taken my piccie, I haven't yet gotten a book or made anything but I plan to have an hour tonight to myself to try and take my mind off things. It will be a happy and welcomed break. I just love Anna's style, although try as I might I cannot use flowers at all, as i've said before... it looks like i've sneezed blooms across my page... Why not join in with it too? Unsure if i'll actually get 365 pages/photographs completed BUT I guess it will be fun trying. 365 days ~ see it here!

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

Being Grateful.

I am grateful that this little boy is safe and well after our nightmare-ish Christmas.

We have all had bad colds and coughs and felt ill all over Christmas. Just when you don't want to be ill!

Last week though Ben became ill and was much, much worse than any of us but it was his first time being ill and so we just assumed he would be ok. On Saturday though he was so lethargic, not moving and had a huge high temperature. I spoke to NHS direct and they assured me he would be ok and to up his medicine doses and just keep an eye on him. He was far from alright. We took him into hosiptal ourselves and sat in A & E for a while until we got seen, I feel for the people who work there/have to go there cause their kiddos/they are ill becasue its not nice!
Ben was taken straight through and put on a ventilator because he couldn't breathe properly. We waited another age and eventually the doctor came to see him, he was very, very poorly as we all knew. They sent for the paediatric doc and we were rushed into infant recusitation. Ben was very ill and I have never been so scared in my whole life. Nothing prepares you for not being able to help your child when they are really ill. All I could do was clutch onto him and hope and pray everything would be ok. Ben had a bad case of croup which I had kinda guessed before we went in, as we were getting into the car to go I said to Kev that I thought it was croup.
So we spent the weekend in a tizz and they let us out yesterday after Ben having steroids and being observed every ten minutes. I am so glad he is abit better. And we're home and he is still no able to do much, he's not really moving and he isn't eating still but he is drinking milk and weak juice.
I am grateful that he is ok. That he will be ok and that we managed to get through it all. I am grateful to the nurses and doctors who took care of him and helped him. I'm grateful for the support we had from them and family and the other parents in there.
I hope too all the other children who were on the ward with Ben are ok and well. xxx