Excitement.

With everything going on in life at the mo here ~ i'm busy.


Busy working. Busy with the kids. Busy trying to hold together and salvage some sort of 'home' life. Busy with lots of new projects on the horizon. Busy trying to fit in everything I want to do. Busy listening and making the most of my napster account before I cancel it (Artic Monkeys, Mika, TT, MCR, The feeling and The fratellis just have it today). Busy trying to work out WHY our washing machine just broke...


It's the projects that have me excited though. I have 5 *new* shiny and exciting things happening ~ or i'm trying to get them going although there don't seem to be enough hours in the day atm... I have one big project though that I am working on hard today... Well, as hard as you can when you have two littlies... :) And when you aren't that great on a poo-ter either...


And feeling glum that one of my best-est used appliances died today :(

*R.I.P little cheap Indesit Washing Machine*

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have had a moany little boy all day. I know why. Here I found him zonked out after changing his bum and taking Emily to the loo...





Sweet dreams little Benji...xxx


P.s. I know he desperately needs a hair cut!

Remember this at around 7am on Saturday!

This is a sneaky peeky of the kit here (www.story-kits.com/store)... I soooooooo want this kit. I know i've really splurged on stash just lately but I AM using it and it has been so long since i've had any kits. I miss kits. These kits are my fave. They made me fall in love with kits and fall head over heels in love with scrapping. I cannot believe how fan-tab-u-low-sley talented Sara Berry is. These kits ALWAYS rock. They have that weird quirkiness about them and they are super-dee-dooper value for money! So you will find me with my laptop in bed with me on Saturday morning (hooray I am NOT working!) and I will be busy, busy, busy ordering this kit (and probably a few other bits will fall into my cart, like the glimmer mist :))

And then once i've ordered I badger Sara for the tracking number and check on it EVERY day. I'm sure parcel force have me marked down as being v.v. weird. But I just love stash sooo much.

Other kits I want :

Bad girls kits (Shaulean pointed me towards these and they look fabby)

Studio calico (althought they maybe alittle to floral for my liking I still love them)

Advacado yummish things (Fabby DT with Barbara)

Sweet spuds (yellow glittery thickers!!! and Shelley B (*wub*) on their DT!)

IT kits (I think this is fabby value and a little more than just scrapping...)

And a heap, heap, heap more...

But Story of my Life kits will always have the majority of my scrappin' love.

Stress makes me create.

The more stressed I am, the more creative I am. Doesn't mean to say I enjoy being stressed though... even if it does produce many LO's I like.







This picture I nearly used for my Fidgeons DT piece this month but then it was too dark, too small and just not right.

I love using the blurs on photoshop. It adds a sort of magic to the piccie... and I have wanted to use that messy typewriter font for ages. I love the look on Emily's face, she really understood Christmas this year and it was really magical. The journo'ing on the piccie talks about wondering whether she will always feel this way about Christmas, how every night she had to say goodnight to every fairy on that tree (and we had alot!) and how she willingly put all her doodies under the tree on Christmas eve.

I did this last night at the Wickford crop which I nearly didn't get to but i'm glad I did. I just {heart} Marion, she just makes you feel all silly and smile. Ask her about Sticky next time any of you see her.

Often found.

sorry it's wonky...!





Ben is often found like this. When ever i'm in the lounge with him, he wants me sat on the floor so he can laze inbetween my legs and chill out. He is the funniest thing ever! He is a typical boy (very lazy) and enjoys flopping back on me or on the sofa when i'm not with him. He is so cute.

So in the summer I took this photo to capture him, from my perspective, flopped between my legs and relaxing back watching tv. I want to remember these times because already they are becoming less and less everyday as he grows.

And me?? Well, yet more stuff is being found that just really upsets me. I guess you never really know someone no matter how much you've shared and how much you think you know someone. I am more angry with myself for believing the lies for so long.

El Dia De Los Muertos.

This Mexican celebration just intrigues me so much. 'The day of the dead'. I guess kind of like our halloween (or all hallows eve, or whatever it is)... I just think they have it right. Celebrating a passing. Realising life isn't forever... And i'm not saying that you should feel happy about the death of anyone whom you love but... a time to celebrate how special they were? That is a fabby idea.



I have had the digi downloads for the title for ages, I cheated though and hand drew it onto acetate with a slick writer (although it did not go as 'black' as i'd of liked)... I didn't want to figure out how to print onto acetate and I wanted the wood grain paper to shine through. And of course the tissue piece, I fell in love with. It's such a cute design. The stamp part in the bottom left corner went weird ~ the ink was kinda all yucky and oily so I tried to restamp with brown and made a mess... i'm going to stick ontop a fresh better stamped design on another piece of paper to cover up the yucky smear thats right there now. Thats the only downside with letting your LO's just 'become', sometimes I make mistakes and then we have to have a 'cover-up'. Not that I mind though, for me its all about experimenting. Scraplifts are never the same as LO's that just took on a life of their own.



So while i'm typing this, Emily is doing this:

And is having the most fun getting all arty too.

Tomorrow is the Wickford crop... a chance to get out and have some time to myself without all the stress of home. And I finally finished my DT LO and have just got to post it tomorrow, this time it's by far the best kit i've had to work with and I really, really, really love the LO. Teressa rocks for picking and sending those ones to me! Thank you!

Arggggggggghhhh

Our house probably isn't the best atm. I am glad I am working all weekend but sad :( for the kiddos that have to go through all the crap thats happening atm.

I am lucky to have such caring and supportive friends and my sister who are there for me though. I am fine and I have no idea where my life is going right now but where ever it's headed I know I will be ok and do whats right for my two littlies. And thank you to Nina for bringing Elli~woo round to occupy Emily while I ranted on. It's good to let it all out and know i'm not being unreasonable.

On a lighter note I am loving cosmo cricket's fleuriste line... Yum!

Sometimes I think God loves a trier...

...This is going to be a miserable post... so don't read if you hate misery... and probably a few profanities...

...God must love a trier, cause bloomin' heck have I tried for the past god knows how many years. And with all the lovely, fluffy, new, sparkly and shiny stuff going on in my life you know SOMETHING has to come along and upset the apple cart, so to speak.

... I have and am giving up trying. Trying to please everyone else is simply impossible. Because by doing that it just makes me uphappy. When i'm unhappy the kiddos get unhappy. BC (before children) I had a bad few relationships with f****** men who didn't understand the word manogamy. I know that for me, I can forgive but never forget... but how many times do/should you forgive? Sorry is such an easy word to say but to truly show you are sorry is far, far harder; I guess for some people is is impossible to actually 'BE' sorry.

...so from now on, I am deciding to put ME and the kiddos first (not that the kids have every been anywhere else but some how I ended up at the bottom of the heap) and enjoy my new job and lots of fabby new exciting spangly things on the horizon.

...and I am giving up on trying.

... and Arse to those who think sorry is just a word too.

"It isn't you...

... it's all too brown." Said Kev last night to a new LO I had made with a SoML kit. (Did I mention to you I had some new stash???! Can't you tell i'm all excited?)

And it was brown. And it wasn't my usual bag of stuff But I loved it. Hambly rocks. Their wood pp is just my most favourite-est thing atm and I know it's been around for ages right now but I think it's lurvvvverrly. And I am loving trees too. They are pretty cute. And hand drawing titles on acetate looks REALLY cool too. The only problem I have with that is no matter how I try my slick writer doesn't quiet get a black enough line for me. I am working on it though...
And I have decided that any colour is me. After using purple last week, I can use anything. OK, not anything... yellow just has no purpose in my scrapbooks.

Last week too Emily saw her cousin with the sweetest little necklace on. She begged and begged for a 'proper' one too. Blurry, I know... but check out how proud she is!!

And tomorrow I should be getting my DT kit from Fidgeons crafts (go see all the yummy~ness they stock and pursuade a LSS near you to stock their goodies!) and I am so pumped about it. I know it's gonna be the cutest, sweetest kit yet...!! I won't be able to share the project with you but if you ask your LSS store they can order the project guide for you... for FREE!

Yippee!

I got a little surprise today from Sara. She has the best~est ever things for sale here (www.story-kits.com/store) and today my package arrived. My, oh my... I have so much goodness after a huge scrapping supplies drought ~ I am now swamped in patterned paper, alphas, ribbon, special goodies and of course those funky hand designed stamps! Ok, the package wasn't an entire surprise because I did order it BUT I thought it'd be the end of the week when I recieved it, that made me sad because i'm working all weekend and i'd have no time to even look at it let alone use some of it... But now! Yippeeeeeeee! I have tonight off and so I can peek at it and maybe even use it??!?



Of all my stash dieting, these kits have been the hardest to avoid. I have seen every month the yummy~ness Sara has posted up and I have watched lots of them sell out :( I have been sad about that because it has meant I had no way of actually getting them once my dieting was over. So I missed a few extra cool kits but today makes up for it all... I have a pile of kits that are so scrumptious. And that special paper smell has filled our kitchen *deep breaths and happy smiles*



And did I mention that I have a few extra specially~special things on the horizon? :) But *shhhhh* they're a secret!

Half term was *SUPER* busy...

What with work, Kev being off work AND doing a heap with the kids I now feel like normality is returning and we're settling back into our old routines.

I can't believe how much we crammed into a week. We had Aidan to stay, we went to the zoo, Kev went into work for a day, I worked four days, Benji had his 'jabs', We had Kevs brother and family over for lunch/day, we went to his mums twice and I actually managed two LO's and a few other little jobs that had needed doing for an age! HOORAY!

I did this LO, I have had this font for an age and really, really {heart} it. It's bold and grungey. And I have had the photo of Emily for a while too. I'm not keen on lilac. I don't like purple anymore but I ordered the crackle paint in 'dusty concord' which I assumed was a blue and it wasn't. It was lilac, shows you what blind buying means... But for some reason I actually enjoyed it. It wasn't so hard to work with, like I had imagined...









And another LO form my Nov Cocoa daisy kit. It's not my personal choice of papers but I think that is half the fun, I have scrapped outside my box and i'm not sure it's really 'me' but I have enjoyed it. And I think this pp really goes with the photograph. Yes, another oldie. I hve a huge stack of old photos that just need to be used now. I'm tired of finding homes for them. The albums are falling to pieces. The photos, i'm guessing will eventually be ruined if I don't do something with them. And I don't know much about all of them. I know odd names and odd faces but no really stories... it makes me sad but thats now why I scrap... but they do belong to me and our family and deserve a place in our albums and in our history. I just wish I knew more about them. I am planning on going to my sisters and taking them with me to badger her into telling me what she knows... which I know is about as much as me. P.S. 3D foam rocks!







The zoo: We went to Colchester zoo which is prob the best 'set' out zoo i've ever been too. It was really busy but it's the place where it can be really busy but you never really feel it is... The hills are a killer tho! And there were several times I made Kev push Benji as I thought the pushchair was gonna just roll away from me. Ben didn't really get it until we let him have a romp in the soft play, Emily loved it tho. She was alittle scared of the fox (he did look weird) and a few monkey who were extra loud but all in all she was so excited. Her fave were the elephants and the zebra's (or Carla as she named it... she has been watching Mama Mirabelle too often!) She fed a goat, a sheep tried to drink her juice, she walked for miles and slept well in the car on the way home.

She also had this done:



Meet our little 'fantasy sealion'... Isn't she just so cute?!



This boy didn't get what the fuss was about but did enjoy a yummy mr.whippy ice cream!

A happy little love bunny!

And a blurred but sweet piccie of a Daddy and his girl sharing a cute kissy moment... before Mummy caught them and Emily then shouts 'let my down' ... We are mixing up our 'me's' and 'my's' atm!

Spare time...

With my November Cocoa daisy kit I have made these so far... I am trying to use nothing else and see how far I can make the kit go ~ very far atm!! Three LO's and I still have heaps and heaps of stuff left...



I only have a handful of photographs of me with my mum when I was little and I know they make me feel funny. They just seem so magical. I can't really remember any of my childhood really, well before 7. And tbh I don't want to, it was horrid. But the photographs of my mum and me make me smile. I just look and hope that i'm doing everything right by Emily and Benji and we'll have the same bond and relationship I had with my mum.



This was part inspired by Karen Russell *sigh* (her scrapping is super classy and super cool) and a dare in 'the dares' book ~ why you scrapbook. I lifted the title because it seemed that we had the exact same reason to why we scrapped because so many had gone and we were left with untold stories. I look rough in the picture with my mum. I had just finished a 10 hour-odd shift as a portrait photographer at Olan Mills. I was feeling pretty rough too! But it just reminded me of her so much, the little thing we did that are often forgotten when I think of her. And the old photograph is of her when she was a girl with her dog Rex. I don't know the exact date it was taken, i'm guessing around 1957 but I will never be sure. The scalloped piece lifts up and theres another photograph and alot of journo-ing. I don't know quiet if this LO works but it isn't my style and its just trial and error I guess...





This really isn't my choice of paper at all. I can't even remember the last time I used floral paper like this. But I have all these old, old photographs which need to be scrapped. And this paper just spoke to me when I looked at the picture. The pp reminds me of my Grandma and Grandad's house with the flocked velet wallpaper they had and the silk flowers she used to love. I guess the paper really is in memory of them because I can't actually remember when the picture was taken, I don't know why it was taken but I know it evokes so many memories of being there. How my Grandma (my mums mum) had a false leg because she had dropped a hot coal from the fire on her foot when she was a girl and had gang-green (SP?!) and so had to have it amputated. How she used to sew plushies to sell for the disabled at her local group. How the whole lounge was full of brasses ~ you can get a sneaky look in the pic, and how she used to have these weird crocheted covers on the tops of the sofa and chair. And she used to have a gianormous circular glass table with cream leather swivel chairs! God, it was hideous but probably very fashionable at the time.







I am feeling the pinch on my time at the moment. I seem to have none and when I do, I want to be sleeping. I have lots of half started jobs to finish and heaps of paperwork and stuff to catch up on... It's a fine, fine balance between being a full-time mum and working 20 - odd hours a week. I guess it's going to take me a while to get with it all and sort myself out.

Saturday morning, when I was up at 5:30am wasn't so bad... but after not getting to bed til midnight on the Saturday evening and then up again at 5:30am on Sunday ~ that was the killer! But still I survived and worked an extra hour on Sunday evening because we were SOOO busy. I have never known a phone to ring so much. But all in all i'm actually enjoying it. I feel pretty fine about going to work, not filled with dread like some jobs can make you feel. And although we're v.v.busy, it actually feels like a break!

So this week i'm working Wednesday and Thursday evening and the early morning on Saturday with the late evening on Sunday! We've planned to go to the zoo tomorrow with Em and Ben and the Benji has his jabs on Thursday; what a treat for valentines?! Afterwards we plan to go the Kev's mums for lunch but we'll see how he is. Then on Friday we have Kev's brother, wife and their three coming round for lunch... So we're gonna have a busy, busy week!

Putting pen to paper.

It's been a busy time for me lately. I have been trying to find a job which was consuming ALL my time and now I have one I am having to manage my time to fit in family life, kids etc... and work. I am grateful for being busy though. I kinda enjoy/thrive on the whole stress thing, which is weird but it makes me not dwell on the past and fret about the future. I try not to worry but I am a born worrier and I suppose some things will never change.

There are heaps of things that 'need' to be done but it's just getting round to them. Today my task is, when I put Benji to sleep (his new nickname of late) I am going to put my pen to paper and draw out all of those stamp designs I want made up. I have been talking about it for over a year now. It keeps being put at the bottom of the pile but today is the day.

Now, I only have an hour so it's not long but I have some ideas that have been hanging around my little head for over a year so it is just a case of drawing them. And I sooo want a 'wood' look stamp. I have searched around over and over and can't find them. I guess the best thing to do IS to draw one myself and get it made up? Any how off to put Benji to bed and then get on...

P.s. Sandra ~ so glad you're blogging again!

P.p.s. I will post some piccies soon... Just have a work-a-thon this weekend starting tomorrow night.

Happy Shrove Tuesday

Enjoy eating your pancakes ~ we forgot until it was too late, so we are actually going to do it tomorrow. But I know this guy will love them. He is a total lardy lover like me....

Tagged!

Michelle tagged me! (http://scrapcouture.typepad.com/)

Here are the rules:
1. Post rules before you give your answers.
2. List a fact about you that starts with each letter of your middle name. (if you don't have one use maiden name.)
3. Update your blog with your middle name and answers
4. Tag one person for each letter in your middle name.

M ~ Making. I love making. Making cakes, making paper goodness, making noise... just making!
A ~ Arty, I love all arty stuff, the quirkier the better.
R ~ reliable, ok not all the time but you can rely on me when you need to.
I ~ Irritable when tired. Yes, I will admit i'm a grump when i'm knackered.
E ~ Easy going. Generally i'm pretty easy going... unless tired!

I tag: Nina, Cara, Sandra, Leslie and you! (whoever you are reading... have some fun and get tagged!)

Things are never as scary as they seem.

Work. It was fine, I was fine. I worked with two lovely ladies and I was shown the ropes, I know now it's just getting to know who is who and working out who is in which area and who can cover who. It's all about knowledge.

But I worked Friday evening and all day today, which meant a 5:30am start which was a huge shock to the system. My body is not used to starting the day at 5:30, it's still the middle of the night and this morning it was freezing out there. But the time went SOOO quickly. I was supposed to work til 2pm but then we got extra busy and I ended up there until 4pm. I can tell you I think i'm v.happy there. I just got the feeling that it'll be ok. Yes, I had a few 'shouters' and problems to deal with but nothing I couldn't do. So, here's to Wednesday evening when I do it all over again!

Off now to spend time with my kiddo's, whom I feel i've been away from for an eternity, not less than a whole day... and to flop.

P.s. I managed to get the November Cocoa Daisy kit, yes the Karen Russell one!! Hooray. A new lot of goodies to play with this evening!

*Shake*

Why is it I get so nervous about things? To the outside world I appear confident and capable. I would go anywhere on my own. Anywhere at all. I enjoy my own company. Yet when I have to start a new job I am a nervous wreck. Today I feel sick. I feel shaky and nervous. I can feel my stomach churning over. I am restless.

I start at 5:30pm. I know Iwill be fine but there is just the nagging doubt that I don't want to look a complete doofus on my first shift. I want to impress but not be too keen. I am keen. I am all ready to go right now. A whole hour and half early.

I have been laughing today though. This is what has had me giggling : ayuhgotyercossyon and gizaguzzgog. It brought my childhood flooding back :)